Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Do You Know How to Sell Yourself or Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?

Common sense
When someone says, "I can't sell anything" or "I can sell ice to the Eskimos" where do you fit between these two extremes? Were you born a salesperson or did you become one? Selling is based on common sense.

Some people believe that you must have a certain type of personality in order to sell something. Some people don't like to 'feel' as if they are being sold something. Sometimes we have the mindset that we will NOT buy and yet walk away with a purchase. Why? Were we intimidated into buying? Did the salesperson make us realize that we had a definite 'need' to make that particular purchase?

Every single day we either buy or sell something and, at times, without even realizing it. We buy and sell thoughts, ideas, objects, lies, or truths.    

own worst enemy
The expression that someone is their own worst enemy often stems from them believing lies about themselves.  A negative experience or an abusive relationship can have long-term effects on our state of mind. When you buy the thought, you buy the lie. If we hear something about ourselves for a long enough period of time, we tend to believe it -- or 'buy the lie.'  That thought can be one that we have told ourselves or one that someone has drilled into us. When our self-esteem is low, we have a tendency to tell ourselves things like - "You have no value."  "No one will ever love you or want you."  "You aren't qualified."  "You will never be successful."

If we are products of our environment, we need to take inventory as to where these thoughts are coming from.  Are we in a relationship where we are made to feel that way about ourselves?  Or are we possibly jealous of others' successes that we believe we will fail if we try?

giving up

In the face of failure, some people throw their hands up in the air because they feel helpless to change the situation -- so they don't even try.

don't care about you

I am a public speaker and learned a long time ago that people do not care how much you know until they know how much you care. People will gravitate toward you when you can empathize with them; when you show them that you understand their situation.
Years ago while making a presentation for the products I was selling, a man said to me "I am not sold on your product but I am willing to give it a try because I trust you."  Fortunately, after his purchase, he was extremely satisfied and thanked me.  When you believe in what you are selling, people will trust what you say about it.

There is a lot of information available on how to sell your merchandise. You can take a course, read a book, do research online. What I want to address here is how to guarantee you don't sell.  In other words, here is a humorous look at how NOT make a sale. 

Whether you are selling a car or a bottle of vitamins, certain things you do will help guarantee you do not make the sale. It has been said that trying to sell yourself is not as important as selling your product. Hogwash! Selling is ALL about selling yourself. Here is how to guarantee you DON'T sell. Think about it!

Starting with the 10th way not to sell.......


10If your prospect asks you a question to which you do not have the answer, make it up. Hopefully, they will never find out. No matter what they ask you, say “I don't know.” Appear uninformed. Don't offer to find the answer to their questions.
head in sand

9. Establish your customer's needs and then tell him what he wants to hear, even if it isn't true. Again, hopefully, he will never find out. The only thing that is important is the sale, right?

sloppy dresser
8. Pay no attention to your appearance. Unkempt, sloppy – it doesn't matter. They are buying a product – what you look like does not have any effect.

7Control the conversation. Do not give your prospect a chance to voice his opinion or ask questions. What is important is that you talk about you and your success.


6. Make sure to emphasize the downside. Let them know why this product may not work for them.

self pity

5.  Tell them about YOUR day or how rough your week has been.

don't care

4. Don't get excited or show any passion for your product.

3. Don't ask your prospect questions. What they have to say is not important.
Listen to ME

2. If they insult your intelligence in any way, get angry. Let them know who is in charge.

If, after following the guidelines above, you still manage to make a sale, the number ONE way to squash it is.......(drumroll, please)......

1. Do not stop talking. Oversell! Hopefully, they will change their mind.

What kind of salesperson are you?

Photos courtesy of,,, onlinecommunity.sq,

Friday, July 7, 2017

Are You Sitting on the Fence?

Decision time

Are you a black and white kind of person? All or nothing?  Or are you easily influenced and possibly can have your mind changed regarding your 'convictions?'

In many ways, I am black and white - all or nothing.  However, I have learned that being this way may not allow for change and one could become quite close-minded.  Take food for example. I love or hate.  Rarely is there a middle ground.  I enjoy cooking and will try new recipes but they must pass the love or hate test and I will not make them again if they fall into the 'like' category.   

I have strong principles regarding my ethics, morals and the way I treat people.  I work diligently at not judging others at face value but choose to look beneath the surface and find out why they may do or say things I do not necessarily agree with.  

All or Nothing

Friday, June 23, 2017

When You Are All Dressed Up, POOP happens - Murphy's Law

Celebration of LifeThere must be a Murphy's Law that says: "When you are dressed to the nines, that is when mishaps/mini disasters/poop happens."

My daughter, her two children, my husband and I had attended the Celebration of Life service for a dear friend of ours.  It was exceptionally hot outside and we were anxious to get home. My husband was in the rear seat of Rochelle's SUV facing our one-year-old granddaughter in her car seat.  Hubby was entertaining Brie and she was giggling and having a great time with Papa.  

"Why did you give her chocolate?"  Hubby shouted from the rear.

"What chocolate?  I didn't give her any chocolate.  William, did you give your sister some chocolate?

"MOM, it isn't chocolate.  It's POO!"

Brie had been cleaning out her diaper and handing the poo to Papa.  She thought it was a great game.  Papa.....not so much.  It was too late.  He had already taken some 'chocolate' from his granddaughter.

We were on a busy highway with narrow shoulders not allowing much room to clean the baby and the car.  Remember we are all dressed up, it is hot outside and all we had were some baby wipes.  No water.  No BAG to make the deposits.

Rochelle stripped the clothes off of Brie, put them on the side of the highway to which I protested for a moment.  "Mom, do you want to hold them in your lap the rest of the way home?"

Placing Brie on the driver's seat, it was my job to clean her using wipes.  It was in her hair, under her nails, everywhere.  It was Rochelle's job to clean the entire car seat, the window, the door and the floor......all with one box of baby wipes.  And we could only open the car door half way.

The moment that will be etched into my mind forever was the look on Papa's face when he realized, "This ain't chocolate!"

Daily workout with Mommy


One of my regular blonde moments

Some days are definitely worse than others, right?  Some days, no matter how hard you try or how fast you go, you seem to be going backward.  One of those days, I had several parcels to pick up from UPS and I was in a hurry. I signed and paid for each parcel and bee-lined to the car.  Thirty minutes later, it hit me.  I left my parcels at UPS. I certainly made the UPS employees' day.  They know me well so the teasing will not cease for my next few stops there. 

ANOTHER such moment

I couldn't find the TV remote and was ready to blame my husband when......I remembered hearing a banging sound in the washing machine that morning.  Yup!  It was the cleanest remote ever but didn't work anymore.  Yes, I dried it with the hairdryer.  Yes, I changed the batteries.  We live in a small town where there are no stores to purchase a new one.  It will take two weeks for one to be mailed to us.  Don't think I'll do that again.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Father's Day

Trying to catch my breath

I am a list maker.  If I didn't have a daily list I wouldn't know what to do.  It might mean that I had finished everything I needed to do.  But I can't remember that ever happening and my daily lists seem to be getting longer, instead of shorter.

I am writing for more magazines than ever, getting several requests to do interviews daily, and presented with numerous other opportunities that are too good to turn down.  Add this to an already busy schedule.....and, well, you know!  Thank goodness I am organized.  How do people do it when they are not?

One of my favorites blogging challenges is the monthly Fly on the Wall post.  It is an opportunity to share your crazy monthly happenings with blogger friends.  Please join in on reading their stories and maybe joining us for this monthly challenge.  Here are this month's shares:


Sunday, June 18, 2017

How Do You Survive a Broken Heart When You Lose a Child?


For those of us who have lost a child through death, the pain is like none other. Yet, there are many parents who have lost a child in another way.  Their grief and pain are no different and there is rarely any closure.

Losing a child through estrangement, there are no flowers or comfort given.  There is no service to help bring closure.  People do not rally around you and bring you meals to help you get through those days when getting out of bed and facing reality is more than you can bear. The parents are often good and loving parents who are tossed aside emotionally by their child for real or perceived shortcomings.  The child does not negotiate but merely leaves; often without an explanation.  The parents are left grieving this loss by themselves - a loss beyond any comprehension as to what happened.

Wikipedia definition:  "Family estrangement is the physical or emotional distancing between at least two family members in an arrangement which is usually considered unsatisfactory by at least one involved party. Family estrangements can be attributed to any of several factors within the family, such as attachment disorders, differing values and beliefs, disappointment, major life events or change, or poor communication.  In these cases, the family estrangement may create an inter-generational rift that persists for decades and replicates itself in subsequent generations."

Friday, June 9, 2017

How Do You Divide Up Your Time?

battered hope
Do you have a hobby?  Do you want a hobby?  Do you think hobbies are important? Recently I was asked to answer the question, "Do you have a favorite hobby and why do you like it so much?"

First of all, the question implies that I have more than one hobby and that one should be my favorite.  I thought long and hard - about 2 minutes - and couldn't figure out what my hobby was so tabled it for awhile.  Over the course of a few days, I continued to think about it and nope, couldn't come up with any hobby I might enjoy.

The definition of hobby is 'an activity done regularly in one's leisure time for pleasure.'

AHA! -- now we are getting somewhere.  

1 - I love to eat.  I enjoy cooking.

2 - I love mysteries and problem solving -- born a fixer.  
3 - I love to work and rarely stop to do anything else.

1. Turn your hobby into a business